i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
