You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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