So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
