I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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