I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
