SEEEEXXX PLEASE
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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