My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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