Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
