At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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