Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Randomize
