I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
