This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
