Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
home. puking in laundry basket.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
