I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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