It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
