hotel room ftw
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I need a beard to bite.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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