just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
The convent might be a nice break from real life
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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