508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
even my farts smell like vagina
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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