I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
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HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
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I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
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I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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