On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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