Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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