Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
We left an ass print on the piano.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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