When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
