And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
