Non-Jews are for practice
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
my poor anus
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
