I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Your penis caused this!
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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