just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
