But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
