why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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