if i can run in heels then i can drive
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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