I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
