In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
