dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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