belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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