honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
