Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize