I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
