I skipped work to stalk him.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
