I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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