I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
