I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
