I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
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