your thong is hanging out like whoa
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
