You're so nebulous sometimes
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
