Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
