Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
