You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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