YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize