I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
