i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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