AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
