i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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