Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
