And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
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I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
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Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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